Balancing Your Life in a Chaotic World

Parenting. Keeping a Marriage Together.  Being a Working Mom.  Keeping Your Priorities Straight.   Why is life so hard and confusing at times?   Does it really have to be?

As I was getting ready for church this morning, my 6 year old son walked into my room and innocently asked, “Mom, do you think it would be a good idea if I just stayed home and played with my toys?” You see he had over heard his father and I debating whether or not my husband should stay home and finish an outdoor project that he had started 3 weeks prior (and had yet to complete…. suddenly it was a priority). Those little ears are always listening. They learn the most by watching us, in particular our actions, and let us not forget our language. My son stays at an in home daycare while I’m at work. He and several other children were sitting together, connected on Minecraft, when he jumps up and yells, “Are y’all ready to get y’all’s asses whooped?” Now with 3 older siblings, because he’s #4, I’m not willingly taking all the credit …. but you get the point!

Parenting is hard, the pressure from society, the pressure we put on ourselves, it can be suffocating. Those innocent little eyes and ears are watching and soaking in everything we do and say. They are learning how to treat people by watching how we treat others. How they learn to extend grace and forgiveness comes from watching us. It is a big pressure we face as parents that will impact future generations to come. How we prioritize our lives in front of our children matters.

Priorities Please:

I challenge you to take this challenge and ask yourself these questions. It’s never too late to be a better example, to try harder, to be more involved, or to repair any damaged relationships. Our children crave it, no matter how bad we as parents have screwed up.

1. Who’s #1 in your life? If you were to draw a pyramid of priorities who would be at the top? Yourself? Social Media? Work? BeuTelevision? Alcohol? What or who are you putting first? It’s not always easy to put God First. In fact, I’ve always found that when my life is good that is the hardest time to keep him first. Even though I know from personal experience that when I keep him and the desires of his heart first, my life falls into place. I get lazy. I put myself first, my selfish needs, wants, and desires. Friends, this should be one of the easiest challenges we face, but it is one of the hardest. Read your Bible, pray to your God, do your best to keep the desires of his heart first. Your children are watching, they are paying attention.  I love, love, love the first 5 app.   I use it daily to help me better understand the bible, along with my bible app of course.  This allows me to access it on the go and whenever I have some downtime.  http://first5.org

2. Love your spouse. It’s not always easy to like your spouse. In fact, there are days I think this might be the hardest task of all. My husband can get under my skin like no one else. There have been times I thought for sure my marriage was over…. giving me 2 failed marriages (insert eye roll). God doesn’t call us to always like our spouses, he calls us to love, respect, and honor them. This is a daily example we should set for our children, even when we don’t feel that way on the inside. As a society we have lost the sanctity of marriage. We place a million other things before our spouse….shopping, social media, friends, work, etc. What an awful feeling for all those “things” to come before you! I get so annoyed when my husband or children yell at me to put my phone down. I immediately get on the defense, ready to point out every time I feel ignored. I think one of the best lessons we can teach our children is to love and respect each other, to put each other first. Our spouse should be right up there below the BIG guy.

3. Discipline Your Children. I love my children, but one thing I know is that God did not put me here to be their friend. Children need to learn rules, structure, and that their actions have consequences. As much as I hated the dreaded 1, 2 … 3, I knew once my mom got to that number my ass was grass. It had meaning…..and often times force behind it. Learning to own your mistakes and suffer the consequences matters. Learning that it’s okay to screw up matters. We all screw up, take our punishment, and guess what? Life goes on. The world will not come to an end. Love your children. Discipline your children. Extend grace and forgiveness to your children, but help them realize their actions affect other people. What they do and how they treat people matters. You ARE the example.  If you haven’t read The Five Love Languages of Children you are making life so much harder than it has to be.   I strongly recommend it, you can access it here https://www.amazon.com/5-Love-Languages-Children/dp/0802403476

4. Be Involved. Be an active participant in their lives. Show up. Nobody wants to be that kid that didn’t have a parent at their class party, ball game, play, or band concert. Make what they love a priority to you. Sure there are times work or a late meeting may prevent you from getting there, but be there all the other times. Talk to them. Ask them about their day, their friends, their interests? Be active in your community. Help other people and let your children be a part of it. Pick an angel off the angel tree and let them help with the gifts. Help an older neighbor with their yard. Volunteer at a local homeless shelter, habitat for humanity, or an organization that gives to those less fortunate. Show your children how good it feels to help other people. Teach them to be thankful for all they have. Most importantly teach them to be good people.

Let’s Do This!

Life is hard y’all. It is up to us to mold our future generations into kind and caring people. You never know how one small change in our actions can alter the course of someone else’s life.

Be the change. Be the example. Be you.

In a world full of chaos, where social media seems to set the standards for success, be kind. Don’t lose site of who you are and where you are going. Don’t forget what matters most. It’s not the number of likes, followers, or shares you have. It’s the impact you have that is most important. We don’t have to keep up with everyone. We are not going to fall behind. Our kids are not going to fall behind. They will survive not getting on THE select team and NOT playing baseball year round. Heck, they might even still like it by the time they reach high school. Don’t be that parent, the one that spends so much time keeping up with others that you miss the most important part. The age old saying “the older you get, the faster it goes”. So. Much. Truth.

Change the world with one act of kindness at a time.

Parents it’s time to get our priorities straight. It’s never too late to start.

Be The Change.