Living in a world that allows us to have endless amounts of information at our fingertips can sometimes leave us feeling overwhelmed. Knowing how to navigate as a parent in an education system in which our kids text books are now on their Mac book can be mind blowing for those of that grew up in a time that research was done at the library. In this day and age, our children likely will never know what a library, encyclopedia, or microfilm archive even is.
What happened to the report card?
As a kid, remember that dreaded moment that the report card was sent home in an envelope to be reviewed and signed by your parents. This was exactly how our parents knew how we were performing and behaving in school. There was no online grade book that allowed parents to see upcoming assignments, exams, or missing work.
Blackboard was not available to show what homework was due the next day, we had to actually write it down and plan accordingly. We had to take responsibility for completing our work ourselves. Learning to prepare for that test or quiz by bringing home the proper text book in order to study is an important skill. It is called planning ahead and being prepared.
Parents expected their children to take care of business, and when they failed to do so, consequences existed. How are we benefiting our children by keeping up with their upcoming assignments and tests for them? How are we teaching them responsibility, organization, and preparation when we do it all for them?
What do we expect?
Somehow we expect our children to be ready for college; yet parents are shocked when their child lacks basic study skills, note taking, and organization? A friend of mine checks her child’s grade book, blackboard, or whatever she has available. There are parents still helping their senior in high school study, all while keeping up with their school work. They remind them to study, to turn in or work on an upcoming paper or project, and probably helping them remember basic hygiene.
Let’s be honest, I might be guilty of the last one with my son. He is a freshman in high school. The words teeth and deodorant may possibly continue to come out of my mouth well into adulthood. Boys are gross!
Are We Raising Adults?
My daughter and I attended College New Student Orientation last week. She was able to meet her roommate for the upcoming fall ; this was a great opportunity for them to get to know each other prior to living together in a tiny shoe box of a dorm room. While visiting with her mother regarding the orientation schedule, she pulled out her daughters BINDER she had made her for college. A thick binder full of passwords, maps, scheduled, transcripts, everything she could need for orientation and basically the next year of her life.
Impressive? Totally. I am actually so JEALOUS. If only there was someone to make me a life binder. A complete organizational tool full of color coded tabs, labels, and sections in alphabetical order. Honestly tempted to ask for one myself, I refrained. As I would not want to appear unprepared or like I don’t have my own life in order, which I totally do … NOT. Although I want to, which is half the battle … right?
My binder is like a pile of folders, of different colors, shapes, sizes all stored up in my head. All the information is there, organized in a way that makes sense to me… if I can just find it. 5 seconds of uninterrupted peace and quiet is all that I need to get my life together; then I can pull out whatever information I need.
Doing Our Best
Please remember my 5 kids range from ages 5 to 21, and I work a full time job as a nurse practitioner. I barely have my own life together,much less the time to organize my child’s life. My desk is covered in sticky notes of things to do and follow up on. Basically, I am a train wreck most of the time.
While I’m doing the best I can, I have the same expectation for my children. Perfection is not the expectation by any means, but always trying your hardest is. I used to feel guilty for not being more on top of things, but the longer I’m at his parenting thing, the more I realize that we are not benefiting our children by doing everything for them.
Our job is to prepare them for the future!
As a child, my mom expected us to complete our work, make straight A’s, and stay out of trouble at school. Failing to do so meant you would spend the next 6 weeks at home with her … GROUNDED. She did not keep up with our CRAP. Somehow my sisters and I all turned out to be productive, hard working adults. We are all college graduates, and successful in our current fields.
Help Me, Help You
So I have come to the conclusion that as parents our job is to provide our children with the tools to be successful. We may have to know how to log in to grade book in order to see the 6 week report card. We don’t have to check up on their work throughout the 6 weeks. We can set expectations and when they are not met, consequences will take place. If there is a problem, I expect to hear from the teacher directly in order to discuss it in detail. My personal motto is no news is good news.