Mommin’ is Hard. The pressure, the guilt, the fear. No matter how many kids you have , or how long you’ve been at it. We are all in the same boat. We face the same struggles and realities. We are in this together.
Juggling being a mom, wife, and having a career is one of the hardest tasks we will ever face. Worth it? Absolutely. I love being a mom and wife more than just about anything else in this world. My husband and children…those are my people. The ones I live for, the ones I’d give my life for, and the ones that often push me to drink by the end of the day. I have embraced the chaos of having 5 children, and somehow managing to save some of myself for my husband (most days anyhow). The pressure can at times be overwhelming. As if that’s not enough, I love my job. I simply love working. I love taking care of people, feeling productive, and getting to take a break from my people at home and have adult conversation. I don’t want to be just a mom, or a wife, or a health care provider. Not that there’s anything wrong with being any of those things, but I want it all. I want to be all those things and more. I want to be good at all of it. I love my life and I am proud off it. I have been raising children for the past 20 years. During that time I’ve gone through a teen pregnancy, marriage, nursing school, divorce, dating, remarriage, nurse practitioner school, more kids, and managed to work full time in between. Have I managed to do it all perfect? Heck no. I have screwed up and disappointed myself and my family more times than I can count.
Throughout it all, there are a couple of important lessons I have learned and come to terms with:
- Tomorrow is a new day. No matter how bad it seems, or how hopeless you feel, always remember you get to try again. There are such things as second chances, do overs, grace, and forgiveness. None of us are perfect or without fault. Sometimes life is not fair, or we don’t get the answer we want. Sometimes God’s answer for us is NO. We don’t always know the plan, but sometimes when things don’t work out now it is so something bigger can workout later. Never give up friend. Find another way. Tomorrow is a new day.
- Prioritize. Life is all about priorities. While keeping the tiny humans alive is always at the top of the list, having a clean house is sometimes not. The mess will be there tomorrow. There will always be bills to pay, dirty dishes, bathrooms to clean. Now I am not saying to never clean your house, nobody wants to be on the next episode of Hoarders. I’m only saying that we don’t have to get it ALL done on the daily. So relax, do what you can, take care of the important stuff, and get to the rest of it when you can.
- You are one person. We can’t do it all ladies. Somehow we are supposed to get up, get the kids to school, get to work on time, exercise, eat healthy, fix our families a healthy dinner, get homework completed, do the dishes, pick the house up, and still have the energy to screw our husband when it’s all said and done. Seriously. Ain’t nobody go time for that. Refer back to #2. Make a list. Do what you can. I keep a constant list, I have a big list, full of every project I want to accomplish at my house. I have a vague list that includes things like exercising 3x a week, grocery shopping once a week, and usually at least one load of laundry daily. I also have a small list that includes 3 things I will accomplish every day. That way I get to feel productive at the end of every day…which also helps contribute to my husband meeting his daily end goal. Happy wife=Happy life. Can I get an amen?
- Quiet Time. This is the most important time of the day. It does not matter if it is 5 minutes or 30 minutes. Read a devotional, read your bible, listen to worship music. This is your time to refuel yourself. Hand over your anxiety and worry to God. Pray for the people you love and the things you need. Pray for God to direct you where you need to go. Keep your focus on him and him alone, even if it is only for 5 minutes. I usually lock myself in the bathroom and read a devotional and my bible on my phone. That is my time, and it is usually after I get the kids to bed. I have always wanted to have some devotional time in the mornings, before anyone wakes up, to get my mind right before the day starts. I decided years ago, however, that I am not a morning person and finally gave up on the idea. I embraced the evenings as my time of devotion. Sometimes you just have to own who you are.
And this is what I call organized chaos. This is how I have survived thus far. These 4 simple lessons are what helps to relieve me from mom guilt. To forgive myself when I do things like stand at the door and throw everyones belongings into the yard like a psycho, that I’ve only asked them to pick up something like 25,000 times. We are all doing our best. We all feel like we are constantly failing. Remember to love yourself. Love your children. Love your husband. Love God. Always remember to offer grace and forgiveness. Do your best. Each and every day.
With Love,
2 sisters